A NEW DAY
by Lattelady
Summary: AT'P romance. A TWILIGHT story. From T'Pol's POV, what was it like for her to start each day anew. ENJOY, please R


**Disclaimer:  **They don't belong to me; I'm more careful with their hearts if they did.

**Rating:  **PG-13

**Challenge:  **From Cat's challenge to write anything based on the episode Twilight.

**Notes:  **A special thanks to Monica who betas for me, she had the patience of a saint.

**As Always:  ****_italics_** indicate a memory or something from the past.

_A New Day_

By

Lattelady 

A lone woman walked outside to watch the stars overhead.  She was dressed in a thin robe that did little to hide her nakedness underneath.  The cool night air touched her skin through the gauzy material causing her to sigh, as she stepped deeper into the shadows.  Her body was still hot from lovemaking and her heart still pounded with all the savage emotions her race had worked thousands of years to submerge.

 This was the time of night she had learned to love and dread.  It was dear to her because she could still feel the bond of love emanating from Jonathan's slowly crumbling thoughts as he slept, and smell his scent on her skin.  Her body was still damp from his, and her muscles were loose and warm from hours of passion. 

Her dread came from the fact that even as she reveled in the joy of the mental bond their lovemaking had cemented, the parasites deep in his brain were eating away at his short-term memory and removing it from his.  Tonight was made all the worse, because it was one of the few nights that Jonathan had fallen asleep before she had.  They had an unspoken agreement that he would not sleep until she did, because once sleep overtook him, his memory would fade and all that had happened that day would be gone, just as it was yesterday, and the day before that, and the one before that.

Tears filled her eyes and she dug deep for the small remnant of Vulcan reserve that still remained buried beneath the emotions that had surfaced over the last twelve years. _'I will_ _not cry_,' she swore as she fought to rebuild mental barricades that had grown rusty and weak from lack of use.  She would not let the tears overtake her, because if she did, she would be lost.

Only once in twelve years had she given in to the despair she had felt and let the tears flow freely.  At the time she and Jonathan had been living on Ceti Alpha V for six months.  It was the morning after they had made love for the first time and she had made the mistake of letting him waken while she still slept wrapped in his arms. In that twilighttime between sleeping and waking, Jonathan had pulled her close and kissed her with all the passion he had the night before.

To him, the kiss had taken place in a dream, because he had loved her for a long time.  She later found out it had not been the first time he had dreamt of her like that.  To her it had ignited a cruel spark of hope that he had remembered; that something had made it past the parasites; that their mental bond had survived and that they could have a life together after all.

She let her mind wander back to that early morning when his kiss had given hope, and torn it away seconds later.  On this cool night, with her body still warm from his, she relived the moment that had caused her life to become a new day everyday.

**11 ½ years ago:**

_**Even as his lips covered hers and his hands moved over her body, sleep cleared from his eyes and his mind. With full consciousness he came to realize that he was holding a very real, very naked woman in his arms, but he refused to believe it was she who he held. His shock and confusion, as he mentally pushed her away, was like a knife through her heart.  It was made all the worse by the anger that bubbled from him as he tumbled her beneath him, and pinned her to the bed. Fear, doubt and panic wiped away his loving and caring expression of seconds earlier. _

_"Who the hell are you?"  He demanded!  "And what have you done with my crew and ship?"_

_"Jonathan, you are hurting me."  She tried to pull free.  "Look closely, you know who I am."_

"Nice try."  He scoffed.  "The imitation is almost flawless, even down to the longer hair, but T'Pol would never be in my bed like this."  He caught his breath, at the wonder of the thought.  "And the eyes are all wrong.  Her eyes are cool, like a mirror, which reflects her surroundings and shows nothing that is going on inside her head.  But you, you show me exactly what I want to see."  His voice trailed away as he became lost in the depth of emotions that played across her face.  "Who are you and how did you get inside my thoughts?"  He closed his eyes and shook his head.  It had been like a dream come true to find this imitation of the woman he loved snuggled against him.  "How did you know to use this against me, how did you know that I love her?"

"_You told me."  She looked up at him trying to find some sign that the man who had made such passionate love to her the night before was somewhere beneath the surface of the angry warrior staring down at her._

_"No I never told anyone, not even Trip knows."  He shook his head in denial, wanting to believe her, but unable to._

_"Let me go and I'll explain everything."  She tried to pull free, as his grip momentarily slackened_.

"Oh no you don't."  He tightened his hold on her hands, as an old memory surfaced.  Enterprise had been only a few days out from Earth and they'd been trying to retrieve the Klingon Klaang, who the Suliban had stolen from them.  There had been a woman at the outpost where they had been looking; at first she had appeared human, then she had transformed.  His eyes darkened as he looked into T'Pol's "You're Suliban, not Xindi!  Are they working together?" It made no sense.  "Has this been a Suliban trick from the beginning? Are they really the ones behind the attack on Earth?"

Two years earlier, the Suliban woman, Sarin, had used a kiss to see if he was telling the truth, and it had made her reveal her true self. If it worked once, it might work again.  He leaned closer and kissed the woman beneath him.  But this time it was he who revealed what lay beneath. Instinctively he deepened the kiss.  This fake T'Pol tasted and smelled so much like the real one. The one he'd always wanted and loved.  His guard faltered and his hands loosened their hold on hers.  He sighed as it felt as if her left hand moved, reaching as if to caress his neck.  But suddenly the caress tightened and he caught his breath as every nerve in his body jumped, just before he passed out.  

The Vulcan nerve pinch worked, but it buried T'Pol beneath Jonathan.  His weight pressed her into the mattress, as she used all her strength to crawl out from under his unconscious nude body. She was safe, by the time he woke, the parasites would have done their work and he would have no memory of what had just happened.  But at such a tremendous price, it made her gag just to think about it.

When her feet hit the floor, the tears started.  She doubled over as pain cut through her.  For the first time she realized why Vulcans submerged all emotions, not just the aggressive ones.  Those that brought joy could also bring intense sorrow, and they were so much more destructive than the violent ones, because they snuck up on you and left you unprepared for the ripping and tearing they caused, as your heart broke and you emotionally bled to death.  'Just this once,' she promised herself, as she gave in and cried.  But it didn't work; the tears did nothing to wipe away the damage, even when she turned on the shower full blast, and sat under the stinging water as she gave vent to her emotions, the pain was still all consuming.

_ She cried herself to exhaustion, in hopes the tears would also wash away the bond she had formed with Jonathan, but much to her despair she discovered that no matter what she did, her mental attachment to the unconscious man in the bedroom, was as intact as if he had remembered it as well._

_When she finally stepped out of the shower, she had a flash of what her life would be like. A day-to-day existence, with everyday being a new day, everyday they would have to reform the bond for him and start all over again.  The only spark of hope that remained was that with repetition, the bond would be easier to form, since there was more to a true Vulcan marriage bond than memory_.**

T'Pol shivered and pulled her thin robe closer around her. The night air had turned chilly and interrupted her sad memories.  She turned and crept back inside to a warm bed and the man who she had grown to love with an intensity that shamed her Vulcan pride, but she would not trade for all the logic in the universe.

With one knee on the bed she let her robe slither off her shoulders and down her arms, to join the pile of clothes they had left scattered in their rush to get to each other's bodies, hours earlier.

"Jonathan," she whispered.  Even in sleep, the sight of him caught in her throat and made her knees weak, and even in sleep he had been waiting for her.  He lay on his back with one arm flung out against her pillow. She knew from experience that she was an exact fit against his body.  She carefully lifted the comforter and slid in beside him, with her head on his shoulder and her arm draped across his stomach.  The moment her body contacted his, he turned and curled around her, holding her close.

Her mind burrowed past the damage the parasites were doing until she found his long-term memory and there was the picture she sought.  They were alone on Shuttlepod One, while a dark matter nebula exploded in color all around them.  It was only one of the many places Jonathan had hid his love for her, and tonight, there is where she would fall asleep.

………………………         

T'Pol stirred and was unable to ignore her inner clock that told her it was time to get up.  The man, who she had grown to love more deeply each year, was still wrapped securely around her.  His presence kept her warm and comfortable. While his scent filled her nostrils and the touch of his skin against hers made her blood sing with longing.

She turned in his arms and fought the urge to touch his sleeping face. '_Jonathan,' _his name echoed through her mind and broke her heart.  At times like these she often wondered if this was what it had been like for him, back before the accident.  Back before the anomaly had hit and he had been infected with parasites that ate at his short-term memory.  Had he been the one to stare at her with longing?  Always waiting, always hoping that she could put aside her logic long enough to see the man who loved her? Always waiting for that moment when recognition would dawn in her eyes and she would return the love he felt for her.

Now she was the one to be consumed by profound passionate affection, while he started each new day guarded and wary, with no memory of what had happened in the last twelve years, let alone the last twenty-four hours.  Always she had to take him gently through the months that had followed his accident, the loss of his captaincy, the destruction of Earth and the almost complete annihilation of the human race. But over the years it had grown easier.  It was the rare night that did not end with her in his arms.

Shivering she slid out of bed and threw her robe over one shoulder as she bent to gather their clothes that had been scattered haphazardly around the room the night before.  Her body tingled at the memories they evoked. His shirt and her tunic top lay by the bedroom door.  Her slacks were under the window, where he had tossed them after dropping her on the bed.  His jeans were thrown over the bookcase.

As T'Pol fixed breakfast, she tried to keep her hands from shaking.  If all went well this would be their last day together like this.  She had received a communiqué from Dr. Phlox on Denobula.  He believed he had found a cure for Jonathan, and was due to arrive on Enterprise today.  If all went well, tomorrow he would have his old life back, whether there was a place in it for her remained to be seen.  But she still had today to get through. 

'_One more new day.'  _She thought to herself as she poured orange juice.  '_Only one more.'_  She stopped her task and gripped her fists to keep from spilling the liquid.  Today she would have to be her old self of twelve years ago.  There could be no touching to remind Jonathan of their bond.  No endearments, even if he felt its presence.  She would have to present him with the facts and together they would wait for the Doctor.  If Phlox was successful, today would be their last new day.

………………….  

**_Twelve hours later on Enterprise in engineering:_**

****

Plasma bullets flew all around them as Jonathan tried to reset the engines.  T'Pol gasped as she felt the sharp cold blast hit her side.  She felt him catch her as she crumpled and one last time she reached for the bond that had given her the strength to keep going all those years on Ceti Alpha V.  Yes it was still intact, just buried deep under all the damage the parasites had done, though in the small spot where Phlox had already killed them, it was peeking through, strong and powerful. It gave her hope that if Jonathan was successful in resetting time, things might be different.

"Keep working," she whispered, as he laid her on the deck and tried to stem the flow of green blood from her side.  "It is our only chance."

"There was so much I wanted to say to you."  Even as he talked, his hands reached for the controls, and he cried out as a plasma shot struck his back.  It made his hands shake but he kept on working until every thing was set.

"T'Pol," he whispered over the noise of the battle all round them.  "I love you, I always have."  He laid his head on her stomach and could feel slight breathing, so he reached for her hand.

"Together," she whispered.  "This time we fall asleep together."  They gripped tightly to each other and felt the strength of their bond as Enterprise exploded around them.  Whatever the future or past would bring they would face it together.

**The End**


End file.
